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Monday, June 27, 2016

An ode to the oldest car on planet earth

We have this car - she is a great grandmother of a vehicle if there ever was one. She was purchased just weeks after we started our humongous financial makeover in 2013 for very little money (and life changing Cisneros fact at the time: zero auto financing - tear! She was so significant is so many ways!). A little bit of love was put into this new Mitsubishi of ours, affectionately referred to as "Mitzi," in the form of tires and detailing, and she's been part of the clan ever since. She used to drive the kids and I to Stroller Strides everyday for a few years there, has made the trip from Mission Viejo to Corona and back several times and has lovingly sat in front of our house for many years now (3 years wouldn't qualify as "many years" for other cars, but for Mitzi? Oh yeah, "many years" is very appropriate), a sweet ol' guard dog, if you will.
Well. Mitzi was created and sold on an actual car lot in 1999. SHE WAS BRAND NEW IN 1999. Chad and I were legitimately 11 years old bahahahaha. I'm not even sure how many humans who know us know that that car wasn't even created in this millennium. But here's the thing! With her excessively cheap price tag, years of "life experience" and possible sheisty beginnings with us (hey there, Craigslist), she's been THE BEST CAR IN THE UNIVERSE!

Oh my goodness, that car!!!!! I've loved her since day 1! She has so much giddyup! You press on the gas, you GO. You lightly tap on the breaks, she stops. Someone taps your rear bumper, there's not a mark on her! SHE'S A DELIGHT! A WONDER! She's even good on gas! The ONLY thing that has ever been a concern with Mitz was her age... ahh, ageism. It's a real thing.

So anyway, when we moved very close to Chad's work and he turned in his leased car, we decided that he should be the one to drive Mitzi the 7 miles down the hill to the ol' occupation while the kids and I enjoyed our new(er) Volveezee on the highways that take us to Orange County. Chad too fell in love with Mitz! Then last October, her a/c died which was an obvious bummer, but at least winter was coming up! Not that big of a deal! We then never got the a/c fixed because it probably would have been more expensive than the whole car was worth bahahahaha!

THEN. Last Monday, just 7 days ago, Chad took Vivi the Volvo to work as her innards house more acceptable human conditions in 112 degree heat (and he would be driving people in it. Mitzi is always a big fat NO on those days). I told him not to worry about us, the only plans we had last Monday was to drive to dance and hockey way later on in the afternoon.

WELL! Come 3:30 when it was time to pile in the car to get to dance, Mitzi HAD to be around 130 degrees! NOT KIDDING. Her air obviously wasn't working and it was death outside. The kids and I were bright red as soon as we sat down on her seats. I debated not going to dance due to these wretched conditions, but then was like, "well, we do have hockey right afterwards, so may as well get this maiden hot voyage over with." So we precariously started driving down the street and I proclaimed that we HAD to have the windows open, however disgusting the air was outside. I then chose to take the freeway to dance, something we never do, but we HAD to have the extra air flow moving through! As we were turning from the 15 to the 91, I noticed that Kota had become quiet. I thought, "Oh freaking sheet, we are all going to pass out! Has Kota passed out!!!!" Luckily she hadn't, but that made me scared for our actual health statuses. We got to dance, all of us FIRE ENGINE RED. Everything about us was red and sweat was pouring off our bods. My friends there thought something was wrong with the pregnancy for gosh sakes! Hahahahahha! It was NOT okay.

I made the decision to swing by Chad's work directly after dance that day and then switched out the cars right there in the parking lot! It was a necessity! We simply COULD NOT drive to hockey in Mitzi. It was not an option. Then, when I got to hockey, I was so zapped from the 15 minute hell-drive to dance that I had no energy to cheer for my boy. He scored a goal and I was like, "yay." As I sat there unenthusiastically, I began to think about how that drive was legitimately scary (bahahahahaha). I started to seriously question the responsibleness of Chad driving Mitz to work and home in summer weather! That night, I told Chad that if he were to call me the next day from a car dealership because he was buying a new car, he would see no argument from little ol' me. So that happened.

Then! Later on during the week, some weird thing happened where the keys were accidentally locked inside of the car IN THE IGNITION! Once this was realized, Chad was in a whole other city with work people and would be ubering home, but when he asked if the kids and I would want to swing by where the car was parked (in work's parking lot) to retrieve the keys, the kids were already asleep. Soo...... we pretty much just decided that if a human being wanted to steal Mitzi that night, hopefully they would need her more than we would (OH MY GOSH). Next morning came around, and good ol' Mitz was still there, just hanging out, keys in her ignition.

Then! Chad tried to start'er up that morning after they were reunited, and she wouldn't turn on. We thought it was a dead battery, but AAA said she just needed a little jolt and was actually fine. Wow, we thought. What a warrior, we said.

THEN! This morning, Monday - a whole 7 days after hell-drive to dance, we got a nice ding-dong on our front door AT 4:30 AM!!!!!! Snow woke up and started barking, which scared the heck out of us because who rings a door bell at 4:30 am? A robber checking to see if there were people and/or a dog in there? After Chad returned to bed, my phone rang - our neighbor was calling to tell us that someone had HIT MITZI WHILE SHE SLEPT ON THE STREET IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE!!!!! Oh my gosh, Mitzi! Holy crap, Mitz!

Apparently a girl had fallen asleep at the wheel, hitting Mitzi, which pushed our baby all the way in front of our neighbor's house. It completely totaled her car (not ours because Mitz is a champ) and there's a humongous oil stain where she came to a stop (behind Mitz). The poor girl hadn't been drinking, she was outrageously shaken (obviously). Her dad came down to talk with Chad and our two other neighbors, but it seemed like the vibe of the whole thing was very sympathetic toward the girl. All of this took place from 4:30-7:30 am. Mitzi is very banged up. One of her rear lights is sitting on our bathroom counter, a sad piece of our girl!
Once I got out of bed, I came out and semi-demanded that Chad take my car to work, but he told me that it was alright, she's just got a few dents and at least no one was hurt. I seriously think he was thinking of her poor feelings! Kind of like, "hey babe, this may be the last time I take our Mitz out, I'm going to be real nice to her" type things. Almost like an animal who is given a short timeline to live! (This is actually making me think of Snow dying which is very depressing.)

So Mitz is sitting at work with Chad right now. I'm so sad! She is so great! Truly like a dog who may be a pain in your butt (not that she's a pain in our butts, it's just her age!) but at the end of the day you would just DIE if something happened to your pup. I just talked to Chad a little bit ago and I told him that this was it, we were going to need to start looking for a new car - legitimately we don't want to be ignoring signs from God (we were both laughing when I said that but were like "for real though"). Like I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE HER AT SOME DEALERSHIP AND DRIVE AWAY WITH A YOUNGER, PRETTIER VEHICLE! THIS IS A REAL THING!

Anyway. Of course a report shall come when we secure a new member of the Cisneros clan. It's a necessity, but man oh man, I will miss Mitz and everything she is! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!
^^^That's her! But painted black... because some previous owner had her painted... if you open a door, she's white on the inside of it. Waaaaaaaaah!

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