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Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Okay, fully ready for Mitzi to go to heaven

Two days ago I wrote about how sad I was that we've definitively reached the very, very (VERY) end of our 1999 Mitsubishi Montero's life. Mitzi was a good, wonderful car to us, so I felt overly down about the end of her auto life, especially given that she had been HIT while innocently hanging out in front of our house at 4:30 am - what a way to end a long, fruitful life of driving the highways of the world.
So that was Monday. On Monday nights, Chad has hockey all the way in Irvine - a good 20-30 miles from us here in C Town. I had plans for a girl's dinner that night, so the kids and I headed out to OC in Vivi the Volvo, leaving Chad to get himself down to Irvine in Mitzi. A sort of last ride for her, if you will. Chad and I seemed perfectly okay with this - "Have fun at hockey tonight, babe! Be sure to be good to our girl Mitzi on the way down, she's been through a lot today! This will surely be her last hockey run." We were all smiles and hugs and kisses as we part ways that evening, me in a safe vehicle, Chad in Mitzi.

Then, at the end of girl's night, one of my friends whose husband plays on Chad's hockey team, let her know that the game had been canceled so he wouldn't be leaving the house (relieving her of babysitting stress). I thought, "Score! Chad will be home! How awesome!" I dropped the ladies off then headed to my parents' house to grab the kiddos, and then heave-ho'd on the toll road to return to Chaddy-o the Daddy-o.

When we rolled up onto our street, I noticed that Mitzi wasn't there. Dang, he probably didn't know that the game had been canceled. What a bummer, I thought. Poor guy, driving all the way there for nothing.

So I put the kids down, expecting him to stroll through the door at any moment. THEN, once settled in bed and ready to fall into a pregnancy coma of exhaustion, it dawned on me that CHAD HAD DRIVEN AN UNSAFE, FAULTY VEHICLE THAT HAD JUST GOTTEN INTO A COLLISION ALL THE WAY DOWN TO IRVINE AND HIS PHONE WAS BROKEN! His broken phone was why he wouldn't have known the game was canceled - he wouldn't have gotten the email! I couldn't reach him!!!!!!! He could have been dead at the hands of Mitzi for all I knew!!! At this point it was about 11:00 pm - these hockey games go very late so that's somewhat normal. But my concern was that the game had been canceled! Surely he knew that by then?!

I decided that if he didn't walk in by 12:15 I was going to start freaking out. Had Mitzi stopped on the 91? Was he in a ditch, dying somewhere? What if Mitzi just went out on the side of the road, but Chad didn't have a cell phone?!!!! How could he reach any emergency help???!!!! WHAT WERE WE THINKING ALLOWING MITZI A FINAL DRIVE DOWN TO IRVINE?!!!!!
Around 11:45, I decided that ANY lingering sadness of Mitzi's long life coming to an end needed to leave the ether. She was now an unsafe vehicle driving my man around Southern California. Either Chad was to give up hockey until he had a safe car to transport himself, take my car, or we were going to need to get a car within the next few days. NO ONE was going to be allowed to drive that old woman anymore, gosh dangit! In fact at this point, I was somewhat angry at the ol' Mitz! How dare she become so decrepit!

When Chad got home at 12:10 (once he got to the rink he decided he may as well stay and work out a little bit given the long drive to get there), I told him in quite the tone that he was no longer allowed to drive Mitzi to Irvine AND/OR work!!!!!!!!! He was to take Vivi, for heavens sakes! He kind of laughed and said that he would be able to take Mitzi to work because after all, he did need to bring her into the mechanic to get an estimate. I said okay, BUT THAT WAS IT.

Bahahahaha. Then he took Mitz into the mechanic and guess what? GUESS! Her very minor damage (a few dents on the hatch and back left side bumper) had TOTALED THE CAR! She is totaled! Can you believe that?!!!!! Those small dents would cost more to repair than all of Mitzi! Bahahahahaha! We COULDN'T stop laughing about how insane that fact was. I texted my mom and sister and they both said, "Thank you, 4:30 am lady who totaled your vehicle!" Bahahahahaha! How nuts!!!!!!

So anyhoo. Hahahahaha. I'm now okay with the auto heaven that surely awaits Mitz. It's her time. Good bye, sweet debt-free vehicle. You have been good to us.

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