1 year ago exactly

One year ago, right this very minute, Chad and I were bouncing around our apartment, excited as all heck to have been given the go-ahead from the doctor to bring our little Kota Bear into the world the next day. Not only was this a sign that I could deliver at the hospital I wanted to (Chad's company had changed all of the benefits for 2012, so if I hadn't gone into labor by the 31st, we were looking at delivering somewhere completely unfamiliar), but it meant the end to a not-so-fun pregnancy. We were BEYOND ready to move on, become a family of four, and to just BE.

I remember being super excited while packing for the hospital. Chad, I'm not even kidding, was in the living room rearranging our DVD's AGAIN! It was so hilarious, there were multiple bouts of man-nesting from my love last December! When we finally calmed down for the night, I remember not having one ounce of trepidation about the next day, I was ready to go.

Fast forward to the hospital after my way-too-long-for-a-second-baby labor, we were informed that good ole' St. Jude's had gotten rid of their nursery since the last time we were there, which was only a short two years prior. Hmm. So she was in the room with us, which was fine of course, except for the fact that she didn't sleep. At all. The entire night. Not one minute. No, instead of sleep, she cried. I even tried sleeping with her in the hospital bed (something I'm deathly afraid of), which was nice for her for about 20 minutes, but showed me absolutely no shut eye.

Fast forward three months later. Carter had gotten over his feeling of wanting nothing to do with her (which I was totally fine with while it lasted - at least he wasn't hostile!), and the two of them had turned into great pals. He made her laugh, she made him laugh, and Chad made us all laugh. It was all a bunch of happiness, unless I tried to put her down on the floor with her brother. If that was attempted, even for a second, a scream so piercing that even a deaf person would be traumatized would issue from my princess's mouth. So we never put her down, because it just was not worth it. Not worth it at all, my friend. Oh and that cry of death? It was heard nightly, at least 3 times. Caffeine really was my only saving grace.

Fast forward to Kota's 9 month mark. At this point, we were all used to the screams, especially the really loud ones in the car - my favorite. I was also used to me feeling super edgy due to an increased lack of sleep from her new demanding feeding needs (I was still nursing). But having been eating big people food for the last 3-4 months, Little Missy proved that she is the ONLY Cisneros child who will willingly eat broccoli, carrots and protein that varies from chicken smothered in cheese. Yes, she has proven to be the culinary adventurous child! Also the bath babe, the big-brother-lover babe and the I-finally-KNOW-I-have-Daddy-wrapped-around-my-finger babe. At nine months, she was a doll with her new-found personality, something I had just figured the screams were apart of.

Fast forward to now, the night before her first birthday. The screams are still there (and, if you can believe it, even more ear-piercing), but you know what? That's Kota! That's who she is, and I love her for her sassy personality. She has stretched me as a parent, showing me that I can do it - we can do it. I know that sounds so cheesy, but it's the truth. I love her for showing me that listening to my motherly instincts will be the best for all of us, that perpetuating a bond which means little to no "non-holding" time is okay. I love her for giving Chad and I a run for our money, for loving me so much it (apparently) hurts (the screams!). I love her for turning me toward prayer than any other time in my life, which has made the most significant difference for all of us. She came into our family knowing what she wants, and you know what? I can't wait to see where that determination leads us. It has been a wild, happy, toothy-grinned ride, and I couldn't be happier to be on it with my C's.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY GIRL! MOMMY LOVES YOU!

And so does Daddy and Carter!