Adventures in bathing suit shopping

Well, in our stupid move I packed away my fabulous bathing suit. What the hell, NICOLE? Last summer I had done the impossible: found a cute-but-not-too-crazy-revealing-bikini-because-moms-have-no-business-wearing-near-thongs-out-on-the-pool-deck, and now it is gone. GONE, amongst our couch and other doo-dads in the ole' pod. 

So to Target I went yesterday to repair my error in judgement because Chadly had gotten the jacuzzi working, and I couldn't just sit out for that good time.

Anyway, here is how it went:

First stop, Target, of course! I've shopped for bathing suits from here for a good 10 years, and guess what?! This year there's NOTHING. Nada. Zip. Maybe I'm too late for all the cute cuts? Oh man. Think about this: hideous parachute bottoms with decent tops. What the heck? That's not cool, Target! Don't tease us with tops and force us into boxer shorts on the bottom! Anyway, in the middle of my frustration I texted my sister to ask her where the heck else one would shop for a good suit.

"Tilly's? I have no idea."

{She's also a mum...I'm gathering that bathing suit shopping isn't exactly us mothers' collective favorite thing to shop for. See: baby girl clothes.}

Okay, well it's probably been a good 12 years since I've stepped foot into that place, but hey! There was one right across the parking lot, so why not? I decided to give it a whirl.

Holy moly. Can we say, "SPRING BREAK 2012" while waving our rock-on hands up in the air while we just don't care? I had clearly stepped into the land of the young, the home of the tequila shot. I'm about two kids too late on that trend.

So, onward and upward it was, I thought.

After making a straight bee-line for the door, leaving the raucous music and midriff baring teenagers behind, I took a good look around and saw my favorite: TJ Maxx.

Woohoo!

So off I went and found myself a precious beyond precious bathing suit, which is both flattering and not too over-the-top. Just my style.

Here's the moral of the story: matronly cut bottoms from Target and ridiculous fringe-baring Jenna Jameson style tops from Tilly's just ain't the thangs second time mama's want to be experimenting with, particularly with bad overhead lighting. Doesn't do a gal any favors, you see? So do your due diligence before stepping out of the house with every intent to purchase a good ole' fashioned suit, to avoid such situations and to come out on top in the world of postpartum bikini buying!

{I'm still in the process of figuring out this whole awesome Mac thing, so not pictures as of right now! Boo!}