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Tuesday, January 31, 2012

"End of the world" tears

So the phenomenon has come and gone where the Man upstairs decided it was about time for a day of torture.
Up until this last Sunday, I kept thinking cocky thoughts like,
"Hey, two kids is really not so hard...What the heck is everyone out there talking about? Maybe I'm just some professional baby-handler? Maybe my kids are just extraordinarily easy to raise? Maybe I'm the most secretly arrogant mother on the face of the earth?"
Anyway, these horrendous blips of egotistical nonsense led me down the path to Mommy-Crashville.
Let me start from the beginning at the most natural of hours: 11:30 pm SATURDAY night.
{Yeah, we're not even on Sunday yet.}
Like an idiot, I stayed up until 11:30 on Saturday night with my man, even though I was in a record breaking low mood due to muscle aches. Yeah, I could feel a cold coming on, and it was bugging the heck out of me. WHO needs to deal with a cold when they have to wake up in the middle of the night multiple times? Ugh. 
Anyway, I finally fell asleep after shoo-ing Chad to the edge of the bed so that I could achieve maximum spread eagle positioning because, you know, I was on the verge of a cold and that's what one does when they don't feel well....
12:30 am: Kota wakes up. Okay, no big deal, this is what babies do...Even though my head barely touched the pillow....And I can barely keep my eyes open....Can it be? Do I feel achy-er?
2:00 am: Seriously? It's been an hour and a half. Great, my nose is running.
3:30 am: Awesome.
5:00 am: You've got to be kidding me. I want to die and my throat has all but cut off my air supply. I. NEED. SLEEP.
7:30 am: Hmm, that's weird...It's so bright out for 5:45...Maybe today is going to be really hot? Great. My stupid living room will bake me alive. These aches are really bad...Maybe I should wake Chad up to burp her...And change her diaper...And play with her...Is that the right thing to do? It's so early....Oh, wait! It's 7:30! Why did I think it was 5:45?? Get that man UP!
{One massive arm swing later}
"Babe! Wake up! I can't get her to burp and she may or may not need her diaper changed! HERE ARE THE WIPES, AND HERE ARE THE DIAPERS! THANKS!"
And then Carter woke up.
Oh my gosh. I can't. So I just laid there.
Chad brings Carter in and places him in between us.
Carter apparently does not want to be his cuddly self, but instead wants to head butt me.
Chad senses some tension coming from the left side of the bed, so he takes the kids out, but not before I hear the "I'M HUNGRY" squawk coming from my angel of a daughter.
Well, I might as well get up and go feed her on the couch. No sense in delaying the inevitable: facing the day.
So I go to sit on the couch with my Brest Friend, and get to feeding, still wanting to die.
And then the
started pouring down my face.
Have you ever heard of these wild things? They just come out of YOUR VERY OWN EYES without you giving your body the "okay" to do so! It's completely out of your control!
And since I really hate the whole process of crying, {I'm one those criers where one can notice I've shed tears even HOURS afterwards}, I tried to contain myself from crying HYSTERICALLY. Well, let me tell you,
It. Was. Painful! 
Have you ever tried not to hysterically cry?
And on top of my not-wanting-to-just-cut-loose 'tude, those traitorous tears were still carving a canyon through my face. 
"Hey, babe?"
I couldn't even answer Chad because my throat was completely engaged in trying to control a knot of hysteria.
"Do you, uh, want me to take the kids out for a little bit?"
"If you want."
Can you feel the enthusiasm?
"Well, it's up to you...I can take them out for a little bit since you just fed her."
Even though I was positive she was going to wake up in a mere 20 minutes and want MORE.
So gone was the husband along with the kiddos. What to do, what to do?
Call up the sister who can empathize with me.
I tell her I'm going to walk to Starbucks and maybe proceed to walk around the lake.
So off I go, and then I returned to take a LONG shower and STRAIGHTEN MY HAIR!
 Okay, things were looking up, but there were still hints of the hysterical knot, and so it was for the entire rest of the day.
And thus was the day of torture. There were ups, there were downs, but bottom line was this:
Sometimes you just have bad days.
That's it.
I think they're sprinkled throughout life to show us how truly great the good days are.
Anyway, enough seriousness.
The end.

{but isn't "END OF THE WORLD" TEARS so descriptive how they feel? My friend Jenna coined the term, and she was right on the money, my friend, right on the money.}


  1. Ahhhh...I still have those tears and my youngest is 10 months old. My friends tell me it gets better around age 7. LOL...everyone has good and bad days...hang in there!

  2. Awww hang in there! My sweet girl wanted to party like rock stars ALL NIGHT LONG FOR 8 MONTHS! I'm talkin' every 2 hours to hang out and nurse and bat those sweet little eyes at me. It was cute for awhile but was soooo exhausted that my world ending tears began happening daily. I'm sure that this was just a fluke and you all will back to normal soon! hugs xoxo


  3. I still have those days and my kids are 5 and 3 now,In ways it gets easier but I have my days when I just cry all day...your not alone,or the only mother who this has happened too


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