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Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Trying your best

I'm feeling mushy right now.
Know what I mean?
As in m-ooooo-shy.
Sentimental, is actually more descriptive.

Here are my thoughts:
Why is it so hard to look around and say to yourself,
Hey, I should be proud of what I've done because I've worked hard at it.
It's just so easy to want more.
To get down on yourself because you miraculously didn't reach that absurdly high goal you set.
I'm not talking about the materialistic things in life, because it's my belief that you should be proud of whatever the heck you've treated yourself to because you worked hard for it.
I'm talking about the kind of "more" that involves your time, your energy, your feelings, you.

Why do I feel guilty if I just so happen to get through a day without pulling my hair out?
Is it because I have some sick, inner, masochistic thought that in order to be a good mom and wife I should be stretching myself to the abyss of insanity?
That's ridiculous.
It is.
It's. Ridiculous.
But not even twenty-four hours ago, that's how I felt.

I was just sitting there on my couch last night, after my dainty three hours of work at the world's best job, and I was feeling bad that I wasn't more exhausted.
This thought literally went through my head:
I should have thrown the ball around a little longer with Carter today before I put him down for his nap.
And that thought led to.....
What's wrong with me? Don't I know that it's mui importante to feed my Babe greens? Why didn't I push harder for it during lunch time? 
Which then turned into.....
Really, Nicole? Is it so hard to take twenty minutes out of your day and fold the laundry?

{And the tone I was using with myself!
It got worse and worse as the thoughts kept rolling.
I was the Big Bad Wolf by thought #3.
Couldn't I have just been happy that the laundry had actually been done,
and the dishes were in the dish washer?}

My point is this:
We all try our best in whatever it is we are doing. Maybe not all the time, and probably not in all aspects of our lives, but when it comes to kids, and husbands, and wives, and home-upkeep, and pet maintenance, and basically anything under the sun that has to do with the people we love, 
we try our gosh darn best!
So it's time to stop with the over-the-top, I'm-way-too-hard-on-myself attitude.

I used to think that this 'tude was what propelled me through a productive day, but that was pre-childcare years! I also thought it was a good idea to drink three Red Bulls in a twelve hour span!

Okay, I feel a little less mushy.
I'm going to spend today feeling content with whatever it is I feel like doing,
even if that means giving into Babe #2's desires and eating cookies during the morning hours!
Well, you know....
because that's what Babe #2 wants to do.....
Yum. And. Yum.

{Oh! And don't forget about my upcoming name change, yo!}

Link up!


  1. ahh, the 'mommy guilt'.....we've all been there, right?! sounds like you're a great one!

  2. great insights. thanks for the encouragement-such a gift! and your family is precious! xo

  3. It is so nice to hear that I am not the only one that goes through this inner battle. Thanks so much for sharing.

  4. banish the mommy guilt! gotta take care of yourself, eat those cookies, whatever time of day it is. Thanks for linking up!


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